1. Kids will want to eat sweets every day until they are old enough to leave home. Say yes every time they ask. Except early morning and late at night.
2. Watching football programmes on the telly all day is acceptable.
3. Holding your kids' hands in the streets when they are past 11 years old is embarrassing. Same for kissing at the school gates.
4. Kids and schools are just like baby polar bears and the Arctic. They just need to get used to the conditions. Don't worry about it.
5. Singing songs loudly in the streets like you are a pop star is not cool. You are not a pop star. (That's for both Mums and Dads)
6. It upsets children under 7 if you tell them tooth fairies are not real.
7. Always buy kids a teddy bear at a young age. Teddies are brilliant for cuddles and the more teddy cuddles, the happier at night.
8. Dancing in front of people is only fine if you are under five or over 16.
9. To have a good holiday, always take your kids somewhere sunny and in a hotel with a swimming pool.
10. Always help your kids with their homework but do not figure out the answers for them.